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Let me make one thing very clear. I LOVE my children with all my heart and all the joy they have brought to my life. Let me tell you what else they have brought....I am sure any Mother or parent can identify.

It started this morning when I tried to beat the boys to the bathroom as I heard them stirring and waking up. In my hurry I end up squatting on the toddler toilet seat. I am so used to seeing it there I didn't think to take it off. I thought "Oooohhhh I need some coffee NOW."

Later Justin calls to tell me he has fixed the suburbans water pump and I can come pick it up if I need to get out and do something. He knows me too well. Sometimes staying at home all day is too much for all of us and going to the ranch is always fun. So around 3:45 pm we head out there. Everyone is dressed, they have their milk cups, blankets, "glubs" as they call them, and hats. I take care of them all and we head down the road. I finally take a breath and realize the gas pedal feels funny. "For crying out loud I have my slippers on!". We go around the block and I get myself properly dressed too and decide I really need a chai tea since the coffee never happened and after it's ready I once again get in the pick-up we are all sardined into.

Then as I was driving enjoying the freedom of having only Aubrey with me (the boys went to water cows and cake heifers with Justin) and I had my spacious suburban back. I came to the realization I was actually singing with the radio for once! Whoo Hoo :) OK, another realization. I was singing with a commercial that was advertising Disney on Ice so I was singing all the Disney TV show theme songs. I thought "This has got to change! What happened to me? I love music and I used to know every new release there was." I couldn't tell you a new artist if my life depended on it today. I have declared this song as my new favorite "I need a vacation from my life, me and my husband we need a wife. Some one who can do the dishes and the laundry...."

I am still wearing maternity clothes because they are the newest fashions I have purchased. Yes, this includes the underwear. I don't get to eat my own plate of food, if I want to accomplish that I have to eat while they are sleeping. I don't want to function when they go to bed. I used to be able to go through the drive through and sneak in a quick burger, now I get yelled at. "Bite, I want a bite!!" I used to be able to call friends and family any time and now I rarely do for fear of the house blowing up or the person on the other end of the phone hearing the drama in my house. "Friends" I thought they would understand. So far only one still calls me on a regular basis and understands that if we are going to talk she is going to have to call me and she is fine with that.

....but you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. The fun we have together far outweighs the sacrifices we are making. The people I thought understood obviously don't and I don't need outside drama in my life right now. I am sure there will be plenty of that when Aubrey wants to date! :) Going to the ranch to let the boys work with their Dad and be together as a family is priceless to me. I love that if I ever need something no matter what or when I can call my Mom or one of my five sisters. They have been a mountain of support, comic relief, and understanding. The other day when I was complaining to Julie she laughed and said "You should hear some of Rosanne's stories". That made me smile and realize I am not alone and this phase in my life should be loved for it too will pass.

So tomorrow when I once again squat on the kids' toilet, head to town in my slippers, sing the Disney songs, and share my plate I will smile. :) Good Nite!