.

I know they say "never say never", but I will NEVER go through this day again. Pretty sure my heart was just ripped out of my chest and left. This morning Justin and my little triplets left for Kansas. I have never been away from them for more than three days and that has been a trial. Now I will not see them for more than 22 days since my stupid job changed my schedule. Before I had planned to go to Kansas and see them June 4th. If the boys wanted to come home with me they would and my Mom would help me watch them while I worked. Now that I have to work 5 days and mandatory overtime I will not be able to make a trip to see them until they come home for family pictures on June 14th. They will have to be in Kansas for the month of June because of my schedule and we have no where to move to down there. I know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I didn't have children so I could work all day and not see them. Now not only do I not see them, I don't hear them and that silence is deafening. I hate that the root cause of all of this is money, I hate that I can't fix it overnight, I hate that I have followed my Father's footsteps when I vowed I never would. I know this is something many, many families go through and I am by means not the first to do this. But it doesn't make it easier. Are you ever to old to just want your Mom? :) I really have to buck up, quit crying and get to work. One day at a time I will make it through this and we will all be fine. I have prayed non-stop that the Lord's angels keep them all safe, and me strong...and sane. I can not thank everyone enough for the calls of support and wanting to help, it has helped tremendously and we are so blessed to have you all in our lives. Thank you!