Hope

Unbelieveable...Believable....Amazing...OK, OK, I found the right words...LIFE CHANGING. By the grace of God we were able to make it to the Weekend to Remeber. My Mom came to watch the kids, we were both able to get off work, and we had some money to make it to dinner for our "date night" during the conference. So we took off for Lincoln at two in the afternoon. It was a pretty quiet start to the trip and finally I looked at him and said "Just so you know, I am nervous". He said "Me too". A simple smile shared between us after that relaxed us both. I had worked 13 hrs the night before and was only able to sleep for three that morning so the next thing I knew I was waking up and we were pulling into Lincoln.


We found the hotel easily and got registered, visited with the gal from My Bridge Radio and headed to our hotel to check in. At this point I am still guarded I will be honest. I am leary of how this will all go. I have prayed immensly and placed the weekend in God's hands. I said "whatever your will for this marriage is Lord, I will follow". I was hoping Justin was going to be open and willing to participate, but being at a faith based event for him is like telling a child to ride a bike for the first time with no training wheels. The want to do it is there, but the aprehension is too. We quietly made it back to the convention for the first session and were relieved to find it was lighthearted, easy to relate to, and easy to sit through. The first night was great it really opened up our communication without making us feel like we needed to keep our guard up. The next day hit some nerves, but brought us together and really made me realize he is in this with his all. That night we had "date night" and it was fun. We just went to downtown Lincoln and ate at Old Chicago since we didn't have enough money to do something huge. Honestly sitting across the table from him and holding a conversation was big enough for me! The next day during the convention we recited our wedding vows and in my heart I knew we would be OK. We had a good night and the next day headed home. The drive home was much more relaxed and comfortable than the drive there. I felt a wave of relief and knew we still had a lot to work on but at least we had a starting point.
Here is what was in one of the sessions:
Granting forgivness is :
*a choice to set your spouse free from the debt of their offense
*an attitude of letting go of resentment and vengeance
*the first step toward rebuilding trust
*an act of obedience to God
Consider your contribution to the conflict:
*What role did I play?
*What pattern or habit of mine contributed to the conflict?
These few things listed above were an eye opener for me. I teach this to the kids all the time, but never once did I apply to my own marriage. I am thankful we were able to forgive each other and start working on a oneness in our marriage.

These last few days have been wonderful. The communication between us is open and we both understand that if either of us say something it is not ment to hurt or belittle. We did buy a few books while there and one of them is Fight Fair by Tim and Joy Downs. So far it's a great read!

Thank you for all your prayers of support and kind words. This is something no one ever wants to talk about and "admit" that it is happening, but I think happens a lot more in marriages than realized. If I can help anyone please don't hesitate to ask. I would be more than willing to be a listener. I tried to get help from various Bible studies, Pastors, and other resources, but helping a marriage heal is hard and just getting a direction to start in is just as hard.
Have a great day!
Sarah